Finally moving forward

I am so far behind on posts, it’s a little discouraging.  I actually began this post in December, lol.  While it is months overdue,  I had a lot less free time than I thought I would while I was pregnant.  I was working, have a busy, picky, non-potty training toddler, and basically one day off per week that I had to get most errands/doctors appointments squeezed into.   Then in much of my free time in the last few months, I was trying to get a nap in here and there.   That’s my story and I’m stickin to it.

I covered our wonderful pregnancy news in a prior post.  We were so surprised and excited to finally be pregnant again.  I was working in a small spa that catered to pregnant women, and it worked out perfect for me.  The spa was owned by a group of perinatal specialists, some of the best in the city.  The spa owner recommended one of the doctors to see if I became pregnant.  I actually saw him before my own OB, around 6 weeks,  mostly because I was an employee and had had prior losses.  They specialize in all types of high risk pregnancies as well as women with prior losses.  He felt confident we would get to take this baby home and was amazing throughout the entire pregnancy.

I chose to stay with my OB (love him and his staff!) and have him deliver me, as he did my  prior C-sections.  I would then see the specialist for all monitoring and ultrasounds.  That would happen regardless due to my advanced maternal age.   The specialist had put me on Lovenox blood thinner shots daily.  Those were not fun, but they were necessary as a precaution because I have 2 blood disorders that were found after I lost Isabella.  We never found a reason why she passed, so this was the best way to prevent any minor clots, which may have possibly been the cause.

Everything was going very smoothly.  Hubby and I talked a lot in the beginning about not being crazy worried or having constant anxiety through this whole pregnancy because that isn’t good for me or the baby.  What happens will happen, and we will do all that we can to bring this baby home.  We had genetic testing done around 11 weeks and were able to find out that we were having another boy!  A little brother for Max!  Granted, I cried the rest of the day when we found out he was a boy, but it was almost like we had to grieve her loss again.  My husband felt the same way that day, just sad about the loss of our daughter and a potentially another daughter.  The next morning we both got up feeling good about having 2 boys that will hopefully be great brothers to each other.  That, of course, opened up more talk about trying for a third…yikes!

As we settled into the thought of boys, and the many doctor appointments, we grew more and more excited.  I was huge immediately, had people guessing I was pregnant as soon as 14 weeks.  By the time I reached 32 weeks, I was as big around as when I had Max.  The pregnancy was highly uncomplicated.  I did end up with my fluid being on the high side in my third trimester, but at 32 weeks I began 2x/week monitoring and they just kept an eye on it.  It definitely made me larger and more uncomfortable sooner than I was used to.   Most days I felt great (light) in the morning, and by late evening felt like I had gained 10 extra pounds that day!

We were having a scheduled repeat C-section and the doctors agreed that 38 weeks was a good time to do it.  37 weeks is considered by most to be full term, but the specialist felt that the extra week would most likely (in his past experience) keep baby out of the NICU.  Around the 35 week mark we were able to schedule you for May 17th.   That would be 37 weeks and 6 days.  We were so excited, just a few weeks left to go.

We arrived at the hospital at 3:30, with the surgery scheduled for 5:30 pm.  That day was long for me, mostly because I was nervous, and I couldn’t eat or drink anything (even water) since 9:30am.  That was completely my choice, because the other time option was 2 days later and I didn’t want to wait that long.   We were put in a room right away and they immediately prepped me for surgery.  The nurses were awesome and had me ready to go in about a half hour.  The labs were ordered, now we just wait.  The anesthesiologist came to speak to us, he was very cool.  Then we waited some more.  Finally at around 5:15, my OB came in to say hello and ask if we had any questions and went over what was going to happen.  Ten minutes later we were walking down to

So Perfect!

the OR.

From the moment my OB came in to my room to say hi, I had been shaking.  So nervous and scared.  Even though I’d done this twice before they were both very different circumstances.  With Max, I had been in labor for nearly 24 hours when I finally went into the OR, and with Isabella, we were still in shock, I think, so I really don’t even remember much of that one until my husband was holding her next to me.  They began cleaning my back for the epidural and it was discovered that they were missing some of the blood work and had to call down to the lab to have it run stat.  He would not administer the epidural until he saw everything was good.  That made me feel good.  They called my husband in to sit down and we basically chatted in the OR for probably ten minutes before the lab called up with the results.  Then it was underway.

Owen Parker

Getting a spinal block is one of the most awkward, uncomfortable feelings I’ve ever had.  The pressure, not the needle stick, that you feel in the spine just gives me the willies.  I still remember that feeling from last time.  My doctor is amazing and walked me through everything as it happened and that really helps.  Gary got to sit in and watch the whole thing.  I had waves of nausea from the meds, which the anesthesiologist took care of right away.  I got nauseous all 3 times, but this time I actually was dry heaving.  So strange, being awake with you arms tied down and having no control over anything.  Things seemed to be going well, same as before.  The anesthesiologist kept checking on me, he was great, and he let Gary know if he wanted to see the baby being born, to stand up and watch.  To my surprise, he did.  I thought for sure I would see my husband hit the floor, but he didn’t.  He said it was the most amazing thing he’s ever seen.  Baby Owen was born at 6:07pm.

Our Rainbow is here!

He cried immediately but sounded really gurgly (is that a word?) and that worried me.  It took a minute but they cleared it and he was great.  Bright red baby with lots of really dark hair, just like his sister had.   They took hubby and baby to get him cleaned up and I waited to be sewed up.  At one point I heard my doc say something about a lot of bleeding.  They were having trouble stopping some bleeding by my pubic bone, so it took an extra 20-30 minutes to get me back to the room to see the baby.   When I got back into the room he was doing skin to skin with daddy which was so sweet, then I finally got to hold my second baby boy.  It felt so amazing and scary, and we were relieved and terrified at the same time.  That parental responsibility that never goes away was intensified by a million in that moment.  As was my love for my children and family.  This was a long and challenging road for us, but was worth every second the day he was born.

We now face the question from everyone-are you going to try for a third child, or a girl?  Right now, I think we are planning on it, maybe early next year.  So far we are taking this one day at a time and really enjoying our new baby while he’s so very tiny and perfect.  People think we are crazy to try again or have three kids and we just don’t see it like that.  These are mostly people that had one girl and one boy and decided to be done.  I know my hubby wants a baby girl and I think we should try for one and see what happens.  We are also ok having three boys.   The best thing I’ve heard came from my sister who said…No one ever regrets having a third kid, but many people regret NOT having them.  So if it happens, we will be ecstatic, and if it doesn’t, we will love our family of four just the way it is.

 

My boy

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Max at 1 year

This is my boy, Maxwell Tucker.  He is my joy.  I cannot imagine life without him.  I can’t believe he turned two in February.  It blows my mind!  He is getting so big and so much smarter every single day.

Max was born Feb, 26, 2014.  He was due on the 17th, but apparently felt pretty comfy in utero, so there he stayed until eviction via C-section.  My pregnancy with him was very easy.  I was lucky.  Little to no sickness, not a whole lot of weight gain or heartburn, just some feet in my rib cage for a couple of months.

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36 weeks
36 weeks

He sat very high up, even after his due date, he never seemed to drop.  I had a scheduled induction that went nearly 24 before it turned into a c-section due to failure to dilate.  I just stopped at 7cm and no matter what we did, I didn’t move any further.  So, out he came at 8lbs, 6oz and this poor boy looked beat up.  Poor thing was being squeezed for about 18 hours, no wonder he looked so rough.  After a day or so, he looked a lot better.

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2.5 weeks old

Max was a good little baby.  He slept a lot the first few months (the 4th trimester) and he ate really well.  He wasn’t particularly fussy, liked being held by anyone, and was generally happy.  He liked to eat!  I could count on him needing fed every 3 hours on the dot.  This would continue until at least a year old.  He was a pacifier baby, aka binky, and still uses it for sleeping (and traveling, lol).  One of these days we will strip it from him, but probably not for a few months.

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6 months

Sleep is one thing that it took awhile for him to get a handle on, he was not a good sleeper.  He ate so often, even through the night that he just never got into a sleep through the night pattern.  Yes, I could have just made him cry at night around 5-6 months old until the pattern was broken, but I chose to get my ass up and feed my baby.  It’s just now starting to fade, all the memories of horribly lost sleep and middle of the night crying.  By the baby and me, both.  The first six months to a year is a cruel cocktail of hormones, lack of sleep, dirty diapers and pure panic.  It’s tough.  But you get through it and you want that little snuggler back.  This is why second babies come along.  Max probably slept through the night around 14 months and we were ecstatic!  It felt unbelievable!  Then around 18 months he went through another rough patch, and we suffered through that too.

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He started walking around 11 months, and it felt like he immediately ran.  He was saying  quite a few words by about 15 months or so.  Now he is using small sentences and it’s seriously the cutest thing ever.  He definitely enjoys communicating with us, and the dogs.  He has a little bit of a temper when things aren’t going his way, and he gets that from daddy.  He lets himself get worked up over dropping a toy when he didn’t want to or if his cars fall off the ramp.  It’s just something we will work on with him.

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The first 2 years were definitely challenging, but worth every second.  We lost his baby sister in November, but fortunately he was still so young that he didn’t understand what had happened.  We are working on another sibling for him and hopefully that will happen soon, I would like them as close together as possible.  But until then, we will eat this kid up, every bit of him.  He is such a good boy, most of the time.   Every day he surprises us and cracks me up.  He is a mama’s boy right now for the most part, but when daddy gets home he gets so excited.  I couldn’t ask for more from a rambunctious 2-year-old toddler, and am looking forward to teaching him new things and watching him explore the world as a little man.